Sunday, November 22, 2009

I Tell You Three Times

The number three ("3") has had special significance to mankind, for a long time.

Mainstream Christian religion observes the number three as the Trinity. The Father, The Son, and The Holy Ghost are specific objects in Christian religion.

The famous English logician, mathematician, and novelist Lewis Carroll is known for having told us
What I tell you three times is true.

One of my favourite science fiction authors, Robert Heinlein, referenced both Christian religion and Lewis Carroll, in his novel, The Number Of The Beast.
a neg scrub tells her to place item in perms three places. Redundancy safety factor.

In American sports, the game of baseball gives a player 3 specific chances to perform in an offensive role
Three strikes, and you're out.
before giving way to the next player, and the offensive team has 3 specific chances to perform
Three outs in an inning.
before changing places with the other team, and becoming the defensive team.

When dealing with trolls and other disruptive characters, telling them 3 times is again, a form of saying
Listen to me very carefully, because what you hear may affect your future.
It's an attention getter, similar to use of the legendary "Clue by four".

In especially difficult situations, we might triple the effect, by telling not three times, but three times three times. This may be necessary in extreme circumstances.

Please, go away.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

My First Troll Calling

A long ago, in a techie forum far, far away, was one very valiant techie helper. This helper, whom I will call "Steve", would write vague yet seemingly sincere technical advice, in a very incoherent and scattered format. But people in the forum put up with Steve, and even gave him props, because "Steve" was a recovering stroke victim.

"Steve" would write, periodically, in his broken style that "he" was recovering from a recent stroke, and would people cut him some slack, as "he" knew that "his" writing wasn't up to forum standards. And people would reply how brave he was.

One day, I was in an online chat with a casual acquaintance who was a doctor, and whose specialty was helping people recover from strokes. "Bill" was a nice guy, and I asked "Bill" if he could give "Steve" some advice. So "Bill" went into the forum, and chatted with "Steve". And "Bill" came back to the conversation with me, and the first thing that "Bill" said to me was
That's not a stroke victim.

His professional opinion was that "Steve" was pulling everybody's legs. "Steve" was a troll. And when "Bill" told "Steve", openly, that he was a liar, and he was only making fun of stroke victims, "Steve" simply stopped posting.

What "Bill" did was known, in The Troll Game, was "Call the troll". And since "Steve" was playing by the rules, he ceased posting.

For any real player, that's above "Beer and Puke" rank, that's all that you have to do.
Aditya / Bilal / Haseeb / I Will / Ice / Sooji,

Enough. I'm calling this troll, now, three times three.
Let's hope that "Haseeb" et al is well behaved, or eventually listens to everybody else in Blogger Help Forum, and takes a hike. I am now telling him three times three, to do so.

So here are 3 web pages about trolls.

And here's a link to my lighthearted fable about one type of troll. That fable is dedicated to Wasted, of long ago Blogger Help Group. And a second link, to my latest canonical definition, dedicated to Haseeb.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Beer And Puke Rank

Even trolls like to associate with other folks - though they generally hang with other trolls, since they have no real social skills.

Some times, the various troll clans get together for parties, called in their lingo, "gatherings". Gatherings involve refreshments such as beer. Excessive consumption of beer, which is all that trolls can do since they are not capable of real human activity, leads to puking.

In any troll clan, there are the relative morons and newbies, of real low esteem. Even trolls like to have somebody to look down upon. At the gatherings, the newbies get the jobs of carrying the beer to the real players, and of mopping up the puke.

Thus, the "beer and puke" rank.

So, what's different about the "beer and puke" ranked trolls?

The real players play their troll games, aka "trolls", by rules. When the troll is called, the game ends. A real player stops posting, when the troll is called. A real player knows that he'll get an ass kicking at the next gathering, if he does not stop posting, immediately, when the troll is called.

Trolls accumulate points, or "props", for how well they play the game. Since they are of low self esteem, they compete with each other, or play with themselves. Many trolls play with themselves, a lot.

The most common games end with the calling of the troll - and the trolls get props for the posts that they make before the troll is called.

The elite games, aka "guts", end before the troll is called. The elite, highest ranked trolls, to score points, must quit posting without the troll being called. If the troll is called, during an elite game, he gets no points for the troll. An elite player, claiming props for a troll that was called, gets an ass kicking at the next gathering.

The adult games, which are the most common ones in the troll world, end when the troll is called. Any troll who aspires to actually participate in a gathering, and let the beer and puke trolls bring him his beer, knows that he has to quit trolling, when the troll is called. Any "adult" troll knows that he will get several ass kickings, from the elite trolls, if he does not stop a troll when it is called.

The lamer games, aka "beer and puke", continue forever. They are like the games which a 5 year old child likes to play, until you tell him to go to bed. Joshua aka Centralist is, quite obviously, of the "beer and puke" rank. You can't kick Joshua's ass, he carries the beer and mops up the puke.

The real players don't want Joshua spilling the beer, or splattering the mopped up puke, over them. So Joshua is given immunity during the gatherings, while he is working. And when Joshua has carried enough beer, and nobody is puking, he gets to sit on the floor near the tables, and listen to the real trolls poast of their feats. If he speaks up while not carrying beer or mopping puke, he gets an ass kicking.

Sorry, Joshua. Somebody has to carry the beer and mop the puke. This fable is dedicated to you. See you around (if you must come back).