Beer And Puke Rank

Even trolls like to associate with other folks - though they generally hang with other trolls, since they have no real social skills.

Some times, the various troll clans get together for parties, called in their lingo, "gatherings". Gatherings involve refreshments such as beer. Excessive consumption of beer, which is all that trolls can do since they are not capable of real human activity, leads to puking.

In any troll clan, there are the relative morons and newbies, of real low esteem. Even trolls like to have somebody to look down upon. At the gatherings, the newbies get the jobs of carrying the beer to the real players, and of mopping up the puke.

Thus, the "beer and puke" rank.

So, what's different about the "beer and puke" ranked trolls?

The real players play their troll games, aka "trolls", by rules. When the troll is called, the game ends. A real player stops posting, when the troll is called. A real player knows that he'll get an ass kicking at the next gathering, if he does not stop posting, immediately, when the troll is called.

Trolls accumulate points, or "props", for how well they play the game. Since they are of low self esteem, they compete with each other, or play with themselves. Many trolls play with themselves, a lot.

The most common games end with the calling of the troll - and the trolls get props for the posts that they make before the troll is called.

The elite games, aka "guts", end before the troll is called. The elite, highest ranked trolls, to score points, must quit posting without the troll being called. If the troll is called, during an elite game, he gets no points for the troll. An elite player, claiming props for a troll that was called, gets an ass kicking at the next gathering.

The adult games, which are the most common ones in the troll world, end when the troll is called. Any troll who aspires to actually participate in a gathering, and let the beer and puke trolls bring him his beer, knows that he has to quit trolling, when the troll is called. Any "adult" troll knows that he will get several ass kickings, from the elite trolls, if he does not stop a troll when it is called.

The lamer games, aka "beer and puke", continue forever. They are like the games which a 5 year old child likes to play, until you tell him to go to bed. Joshua aka Centralist is, quite obviously, of the "beer and puke" rank. You can't kick Joshua's ass, he carries the beer and mops up the puke.

The real players don't want Joshua spilling the beer, or splattering the mopped up puke, over them. So Joshua is given immunity during the gatherings, while he is working. And when Joshua has carried enough beer, and nobody is puking, he gets to sit on the floor near the tables, and listen to the real trolls poast of their feats. If he speaks up while not carrying beer or mopping puke, he gets an ass kicking.

Sorry, Joshua. Somebody has to carry the beer and mop the puke. This fable is dedicated to you. See you around (if you must come back).

Messing With Everybody's Email - A Broadcast Storm

I've seen this happen in real life, and it isn't pretty.

Let's say that you have 100 friends, very few who know each other except through you. One day, you decide to send each of them the same bit of email. That's OK, except you forget to use BCC, and that's not OK.

So now, you have 100 copies of your email, each copy with the email address of 100 mutual strangers, sitting in the Inbox of 100 mutual strangers. That's a potential broadcast storm.

All that it takes is 1 of the 100 doing a "Reply To All", and you have a beginning storm.

I don't want this. Please don't send any more to me.

Out of the 99 recipents of that "Reply To All", 1 person then decides that he doesn't want any email from 99 strangers any more than the first guy did, so he too does a "Reply To All", and now you have an active storm.

Well, I don't want it either. Don't bother me!!

Now you have 300 copies of your email (100 recipients, with 3 copies each - 1 original and 2 replies) in the email system.

As you add more active participants, the chances are increasingly greater that the increased amount of unwanted email will cause yet more people to become active. If even a third person becomes actively involved, the storm will likely go out of control.

So why the ^%$@@ are you sending this *@%% to me? Knock it off!!

then

&*^% off, wanker! I don't want your &*%$ %#@!

and you have an uncontrollable mess - 500 copies of unwanted email (100 recipients, with 5 copies each - 1 original and 4 replies).

In a corporate environment, with all 100 recipients using the same corporate email system, the email server can be quickly overloaded. The only way to stop a storm is to bring the server down, and delete the email - all copies. Finding all copies won't be simple - with just 3 people doing "Reply To All", you have 300 copies. If just 1 person changes the email subject, on just 1 copy, before replying, the task of finding and deleting all copies becomes progressively more complex.

In a corporate environment, with the email server techs being promptly involved, and with a single email server (or server cluster), this can be stopped. And with all participants being corporate employees, everybody can eventually be persuaded to not participate in the storm.

Outside, in the real world, this becomes a much scarier situation. You'll have multiple email systems involved, and the participants won't be as easily persuaded to not participate. If you have just 1 person in the 100 who is mischievous, and has 2 or 3 friends like him, he can even hijack the storm, and truly cause chaos.

An email broadcast storm, like a train wreck, is fascinating to watch. If you're a techie, and are intrigued by techie issues, it can be quite entertaining. But it can have casualties. Like a virus, once it starts spreading, it may be unstoppable.

Don't do it. Use BCC.

Usenet

If you are old, like I, you might remember life BI (Before Internet). Yes, life did exist then. ;)

One day, someone with a computer and a collection of modems (you know, those things you attach to your computer and the phone line) setup a bulletin board. The bulletin board was for discussing things. Somebody else setup another bulletin board, for discussing other things.

If you wanted to discuss in the first bulletin board, you'd connect your computer to that bulletin board ("dial in"). Then you would disconnect from the first, and dial in to the second. The dialing in process was not instantaneous. You (some of you) use dialup connectivity, and know about the noises - the hums, whistles, and screeches - that you hear when connecting. And the silence, and the suspense. With 9.6K connections, this would take a while.

After a while, the folks in each bulletin board setup connections from one to another. You could dial in to board A, and discuss with folks dialed in to Boards B, C, and D.

This evolved in to Usenet, with hundreds of servers all over the world. All interconnected, and using a common protocol so someone in one country could post to a local Usenet server, and that post would be relayed to a server in another country, and on another network.

But the relaying was done by the servers, and still using dialup conversations. Dialup by the people, and by the server to server message relays.

Then came the Internet, and the World Wide Web (and no the two are not the same). Both the person to bulletin board connections, and the bulletin board to bulletin board connections, were modified to use Internet connectivity. No more dialing up - instant connection. Wow.

Eventually, the bulletin board system became known as Usenet. To participate in Usenet, you'd use a newsreader (not the same as a syndication newsreader), which would connect in to the Usenet network on the Internet.

Then folks demanded more. And web portals were developed. Web sites were built, which would take a Usenet feed, and put it into a web page. One day, Google (the search engine) bought out Deja News (one of the bigger Usenet web portals), and made Google Groups. And now, you have web based discussions. Such as alt.computer.security, and alt.24hoursupport.helpdesk (don't go there, and that's a story in itself), news.admin.net-abuse.email (nanae), and microsoft.public.windowsxp.network_web, which is where I got involved, in Web based assistance in general.

And you have private Google groups (not available on Usenet). Such as Google Blogger Help.

Anyway, both Usenet and Google Groups have their advantages - and disadvantages. But that's another post, coming later.